Jagd in der grünen Hölle


‘In the wilderness, the bounderies are drawn in blood.’


Originaltitel: Dominion (1995)
Regie: Michael Kehoe Drehbuch: Woody Brown & Michael Kehoe
Darsteller: Brad Johnson, Brion James, Tim Thomerson FSK: 16


Hey there, folks. If you happen to come across this link: Switch to English! It’s the only way to understand the jibberish printed down in this hell of a Partner-Review !


Huhner kräht:
Well, Greetings from Flausenville! Welcome to the lovely digital-remasterd Special Editon Director's Cut Version of 'Jagd in der grünen Hölle', featuring cult actor Brion James!
Spatzen piept:
Hehehe. Hello there, folks! Today we'll do the whole thing in english. So you can learn some foreign language AND be entertained.
Huhner kräht:
That's a great idea. Let's do this! What a terrific service here at FilmFlausen.de!
Spatzen piept:
Some men go camping... that's nice.
Huhner kräht:
Nice music, too! Nice trees…
Spatzen piept:
There must be a psychokiller running around 'em!
Huhner kräht:
Yeah, and he's probably the one filming. Actually the trees don't look that nice, they're kinda creepy! Hey! that's the father of ‘Sean’ in the great sitcom 'Grounded for Life', one of my favorite shows! He's a good actor, nice to see him here!
Huhner kräht:
Ah I see, people are looking for Brion James for six months now and he probably hides deep in the woods.
Spatzen piept:
That one dude looked totally like Michael Dudikoff... i mean like TOTALLY!
Huhner kräht:
Hehe, the ‘Mysterious Clerk’ is never misplaced in a Backwood-Movie. And yes, you're absohoodely right, Super Flausenette Hudophermia!
Spatzen piept:
What are you talkin’ about? I am Spooner, YOU are Hudson!
Huhner kräht:
Oh yeah, I forgot sorry, Spooner … Please don't kick my ass again! You know I cried like a little girl last time you hit me.
Huhner kräht:
Hey, and that one guy looks like the father of the ‘Waits family’ in the Hollywood Classic 'Troll 2'! That actor also looks like... hmm, can't remember... Charles Napier? A little!
Spatzen piept:
Yeah, I always said, that Tim Thomerson looked like the ‘Troll 2’ Dad... but I also said Fred Olen Ray is the greatest Director of all time, so what do I know!?
Huhner kräht:
Well, sounds like you're a very wise man, dude.
Huhner kräht:
Wow, Michael Dudikoff! And that weird Tim Napier guy telling a story.
Spatzen piept:
It ain’t Napier, its the Trancers Guy JACK DETH!
Huhner kräht:
Whatsoever, he looks like friggin Charles Napier.
Spatzen piept:
Hudson, please... you weren't an Idiot until now. Please dont become one at this point!
Huhner kräht:
Well you know I've always been a weirdo with these things. Hey, if we're doing this in english, does that mean we have to censor all the fecal language too?
Spatzen piept:
No we use fecals all the time, dude.
Huhner kräht:
Ah, that's great.
Huhner kräht:
He's taking a picutre of that Wild Bunch. Nice looking gang there… expect for the ugly people
Spatzen piept:
Which, in fact are most of ‘em.
Huhner kräht:
Hehe, yeah. But wait, what the hell's going on now??
Spatzen piept:
I dont know either, dude.
Huhner kräht:
Are there some characters, we haven't met yet? Followed by THE GREAT Brion James?
Spatzen piept:
Looks like. Hahahaha, everybody’s running, except for the killer. He's walking slowly, just like JASON, but STILL gets ‘em.
Huhner kräht:
Ehe you're right, that's cool. The cool killers never run, they don't even show up until the killing.
Spatzen piept:
Don't even show up until the killing--- i like that. Oh wait! He's got a RAMBO KNIFE!
Huhner kräht:
Dear Lord, James killed the guys with big fat machetes!!! Hm, seems like that Dudikoff dude is the new kid, eh?
Spatzen piept:
Ah I see, those camping dudes tell the tale about the woodsman who lost his son... guess they're talkin bout Brionsy.
Huhner kräht:
Yeah, that's the one ‘Sean's dad’ was talking about in the beginning of the movie.
Hey, the Napier guy reminds me a little of Prof. Gangreen. Wow, these backpacks look heavy. Well… gotta admit... I don't really like these guys. They’re supposed to be the good ones?
Spatzen piept:
Well, they're talking ‘bout genital diseases! Thats not funny.
Huhner kräht:
Still they laugh, about such a serious topic. And me, Hudson, i know everything about genital diseases… Believe me it is NOT funny!
Spatzen piept:
Yeah, I (Spooner) unfortunately don’t know anything about genitals... I ain’t got none and never seen ‘em on someone else.
Huhner kräht:
Hehe, don't only see the bad things! At least you don't get ill. Hey, that DUDEikoff dude looks a bit like David Arquette too!
Spatzen piept:
Lotsa people die there, man.
Huhner kräht:
What the fuck's just happening ?
Spatzen piept:
Brion shot one of them! He hangs half dead somewhere and now his friends wanna save him...
Spatzen piept:
...and fail miserably.
Huhner kräht:
Oh, cool. I bet it was the nice gentle one, so the other ones can cry like "Oh, why him, he was always so nice and gentle... he knew better than the rest of us buttfucks!" …
Oh no, he actually died. Is that guy's name "Fips" ?
Spatzen piept:
Like in FIPS ASMUSSEN`? That german joke teller err… comedian!
Huhner kräht:
I dunno, but if he's called ‘Fips’, I assume you’re right.
Spatzen piept:
Oh yeah… closeup on the dead campfire... great idea, Hitchcock!
Huhner kräht:
Hehe, maybe that's the reason, that director only shot this one film?
Spatzen piept:
Did he? Only that one?
Huhner kräht:
Yeah, according to the online film datenbank, the not-so-well-done german imdb-clone.
Spatzen piept:
Those germans... everything they do is not-so-well-done, like our american stuff and of course YOUR french stuff, cause Hudsons from France, as we all now.
Huhner kräht:
Yeah and of course the stuff you're friends the dutch did. We all know, you call the Netherlands the ‘Freedom Lands’, because they don't censor their movies and stuff.
Huhner kräht:
"Fips, come on!"
Spatzen piept:
What? Brion’s gonna kill him with a fishing rod?
Huhner kräht:
What is this? The great scene from British Horror Classic "Raw Meat" in a shitty woody Brion James way? Really reminds me on that scene, don't you think Hudson? uh... Spooner?
Spatzen piept:
Don't call Brion shitty. He's yo poppa!
Huhner kräht:
I don't, only the scene!
Spatzen piept:
Du Schweinhund!
Spatzen piept:
Oops
Huhner kräht:
What? What’s with the strange language? You know, I don't speak that nazi-language!
Spatzen piept:
I’M SORRY!
Huhner kräht:
I hope so.
Huhner kräht:
Ah, now the guys found the corpse James has finished in the other scene! But hey, it's so unrealistic, that one single man can horrify all these people in the woods. That's bullshit!
Huhner kräht:
On the other hand, the same thing happend in a real good movie called 'First Blood'.
Spatzen piept:
HOLY SHIT! What the hell was that!
Huhner kräht:
Wow! Now we got some gore, too!
Spatzen piept:
Now Brion got quite a killer instinct, when it comes to fuckin campers!
Huhner kräht:
heheheh he sure has! And he’s running around killing everyone! And we didn't even knew the people he just killed! Now there's a bug crawling on the dead campers head, that’s neat.
Spatzen piept:
Yeah, kinda Tierhorro... äh i mean ANIMAL HORROR! Or what they call it…
Huhner kräht:
Haha, James' psychopath-look isn't really that scary... it makes me smile.
Jesus, the redhead cries about some dead friend, but I can't really tell which one, because everybody dies before I got to know who the hell he is.
Spatzen piept:
Did he get one of ‘em bodies to his cabin? Now what? Is he a fuckin’ pervert or something?
Huhner kräht:
You wouldn't think Brion takes prisoners in his bloodthirsty, brutal killing-thing here, but he did in fact take one prisoner as it seems.
Huhner kräht:
He caught Dudi-Arquette.
Spatzen piept:
Fritz? Fips? It's gotta be one of those Nazi names.
Huhner kräht:
Fucking Nazis! Ah... the irish guy's name is Lance.
Spatzen piept:
This one redhead is like ‘Hudson’ from the film ‘Aliens’ ... d'you know that film, Hudson?
Huhner kräht:
I even changed my name because of that film!
Spatzen piept:
Wow, that's awesome...ly stupid.
Huhner kräht:
yeah, but on the other hand; So am I. Dude, what's with the unnatural acting!?
Psycho-Brion isn’t that much of an actor in a movie like this. He's supposed to do much bigger things! A whole lotta dead bodies lying around there.
Spatzen piept:
The problem with Brion is, I think, he's not nessecarily a great actor. Only when there's a real great director around, who pushes him, like Ridley Scott or Donald G. Jacskon or let’s say Thomas Jahn, for the sake of the gemran dudes, or someone like that.
Huhner kräht:
"Who did this to you?"
"It was a man...it...was...a ...man!"
Spatzen piept:
"Who?"
"A man…" Or did he say "amen"?
Spatzen piept:
Who knows?
Huhner kräht:
Yeah… or he just knows, that a movie like this won’t be seen by anyone important anyway. But a movie like ‘Blade Runner’ will have all the fans, so it's worth acting good.
Spatzen piept:
Maybe, yeah. I dont want to disrespect him, cause I really love his work and now he's dead and all and you just dont' disrespect dead people, but I think, sometimes he's more of a gimmick, a well know face, a cool tool to have in your movie.
Huhner kräht:
Well that's why some keep up a great respect for Adolf Hitler, too!
Spatzen piept:
Now do they? That's pretty weird, I’d say. Actually it’s very rude, dude!
Huhner kräht:
Yeah, the only dead person YOU respect is Elvis Presley, innit?
Spatzen piept:
Remember, after all we are on German soil. And in Germany you just don’t use the words ‘Adolf Hitler’ to make a funny comment. Especially not in the context of R.E.S.P.E.C.T.! Cause even if he was one of the biggest jokes around, you have to treat this delicate subject with sincerity, earnestness, gravity and lotsa other stuff my thesaurus told me about.
Huhner kräht:
Well if that's true, what's with movies like the Great Bollywood Classic ‘Hard Rock Zombies’? or that German World War 2 Parody "Der Untergang" featuring Star Comedian Helge Schneider?
Spatzen piept:
Well wasn’t THAT the famous british Fuehrer Joke… oh nevermind!
Huhner kräht:
But you're right, James was a good actor and I think he was a cool person too, and he definitly made some terrific movies.
Now wait! Who does this guy think he is, fuckin' ‘Rambo’?
Spatzen piept:
Yeah, but Brion thinks HE is fuckin’ ‘Rambo 2’ and that's so much better, dude!
Huhner kräht:
Well but what did the director think this is? Fucking ‘Delivarence’?
Spatzen piept:
Now Napier’s talkin about dates. WTF?!
Huhner kräht:
I don't know, he tells storys the whole damn time. He's talking about drunk driving! That's another very serious topic!
Spatzen piept:
And about sexual relations. They just joke about it… how blasé!
Huhner kräht:
He fucked a girl and broke her arm doing it? What the fuck's with that movie?
Spatzen piept:
Thats why we have so much genital diseases around here ... eh there!
Huhner kräht:
Probably man! Now they wanna look for the murderer and stop him!
Spatzen piept:
Now tell me... WHERE THE HECK DO ALL THOSE PEOPLE COME FROM ALL OF A SUDDEN? I mean, is there something like a Subway Station? Or a fuckin’ Bus Stop?
Huhner kräht:
I think they all split up in groups, to go to different sectors of that forrest at the beginning, right? But of course it's crappy.
Spatzen piept:
What? You mean like the English word for the German term 'Zellteilung'?
Huhner kräht:
For the last time: Stop the Nazi Talk!
Spatzen piept:
Ahem… sorry, I don’t know the proper English term! Is it ‘Cell-parting’? When cells come apart? Y'know?
Huhner kräht:
Well, I heard about it…
Spatzen piept:
And they like... all parted… themselves… and split up?! You think that happened?
Huhner kräht:
Something with micro... somethings... splitting up to... aah, my head hurts, enough of the nerd shit already!
Spatzen piept:
Ok, sorry.
Huhner kräht:
But yeah, something like that.
Spatzen piept:
FITZ! His name is FITZ!
Huhner kräht:
Hm, seems to be true!
Spatzen piept:
Like that crazy guy from my first movie. ‘Trash Monsters from Outer Space’.
Huhner kräht:
But his name was ‘Fritz’! WOW! NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN BRION JAMES GRABBED HIM!
Spatzen piept:
Shut up! I have to know better, since it was MY movie…
Huhner kräht:
Ah, the Hudson-like Irish dude Lance got killed.
Spatzen piept:
…and I had an affair with him… which didn’t work out cause… you know… of my missing genitals.
Huhner kräht:
Well... what’s all the fuss about genitals anyway! You got character! And you may have directed that Masterpiece, but I was the only one who ever reviewed it! Even Roger Ebert ran out of the screening after 3 minutes.
Spatzen piept:
EVEN THOUGH the film was only two and a half minutes long!
Huhner kräht:
Well wasn't it more like 33 minutes? But what do I know?!
Jeeze! Now some guy got shot, lots of blood and all, and without any need. By a good guy! That movie's totally brutal and violent and politically incorrect. That's terrible!
You know, I hate those wild crazy movies with all their gore! Even though my best friend Spooner used to direct them.
Spatzen piept:
Awful... and it all happened out of confusion. They thought someone else was the killer, who actually wasn’t. And this other guy wanted to be like Judge Dredd and kill the one who wasn’t the killer right awy and than accidentally shot his own Sidekiuck... Jeeze!
Huhner kräht:
Well yeah, this way the one guy in "The Thing" got killed too!
Spatzen piept:
Really? Now I’ve never seen ‘The Thing’. But I'm stoopid, so to hell with me!
Huhner kräht:
Blood dripping from the sky! Nooooooooo! James acts like the friggin' ‘Predator’.
Spatzen piept:
Dude, this film IS like the friggin’ ‘Predator’, just with Brion James instead of the Predator. Although they might come frome the same homeplanet.
Huhner kräht:
They sure do. Can't say I like this film too much. What's with the philosophical talk?
Spatzen piept:
Can't even say I like James in here that much. In other films he's playing his characters with a lot more spirit.
Huhner kräht:
Yeah, actually he's pretty not-so-well in this one. And the German dubbing sucks hardcore.
Spatzen piept:
"I'm alone like a tear. Like an unwanted tear, wiped away with a handkerchief." This guy got some issues, man.
Huhner kräht:
*weirdo*
Spatzen piept:
German dubbing… those krazy krauts.
Huhner kräht:
Fuckin' Nazis!
Huhner kräht:
Damn it Hudson, James is out of his mind! I mean, Spooner! Sorry. Keep confusing those names. Hm, the camera work isn't that bad actually. I kinda loke it.
Spatzen piept:
So you 'loke' it huh? Fuckin’ pervert!
I used to mistake Tobin Bell from the ‘Saw’ Movies for Brion James. I never was good with faces. That's what they say about ole Spooner.
Huhner kräht:
Well but you're very good with faces, you just can't handle numbers!
Spatzen piept:
I find it kinda disturbing, how you always wanna correct me about my characteristics and habits. You dont' know that much about me. So dont pretend you do, man!
Huhner kräht:
I know a lot more than you think, young Lady!
Spatzen piept:
OH, LEAVE ME ALONE!
Huhner kräht:
What's going on there? Who are all these people?
Huhner kräht:
Hey, there's ‘Sean’s dad’ again! Howsoever they got him to act here.
Oh no, James just broke some guy's neck. But I don't know, whose neck it was anyway.
Spatzen piept:
Necksnap! I like that. Although it's violent and disgusting!
Huhner kräht:
Yeah me too, buddy. But here at ‘FilmFlausen.de’ we're great fans of violent movies, so that's okay! The only things I hate are boobs. They ruined the great ‘Evil Toons’ for me.
Spatzen piept:
Dude, now they're shooting at all the wrong persons! Especially at that one dude, who's actually one of them!
Huhner kräht:
Hell, now the Rednecks want to kill… uh... what was his name? Because they think he's the murderer! That's completley weird! Guy falling of a mountain! Guy falling off a mountain!
Spatzen piept:
OUCH! That shit got even RAMBO in big trouble back then!
Huhner kräht:
Yeah, even if it wasn't Rambos fault. Those mean city slickers just tried to mock him.
Spatzen piept:
Those dickheads!
Huhner kräht:
Did he brutally got smashed on the ground? That'd be cool!
Spatzen piept:
Wow. This guy’s locked in a ribcage!
Huhner kräht:
And now he tries to destroy his cage in James’ cabin. The cage is only made of some ropes and wood. Can't be that hard. Oh happy fuckin' birthday, now he's setting the whole thing on fire! Buttlick!
Spatzen piept:
Well, if I'd be that fucker, I'd try to grab a weapon from Brions Shack... but what the hell do I know?! I'm from near Cologne!
Huhner kräht:
Yeah… gay
Huhner kräht:
Gay-Nazi!
Spatzen piept:
Like... totally!
Huhner kräht:
‘Sean's dad’ is called ‘Homer’. Hm, I'm sure he dies too. He's that kinda guy.
Spatzen piept:
Well, they should've called Brion ‘Homer’, he actually looks like a ‘Homer’... in fact he looks like ‘THE Homer’!
Huhner kräht:
Hahaha right. Or like a damn farmer. Oh, did he just shoot the Dudi-dude?
Spatzen piept:
Holy Fuckaroni!
Huhner kräht:
No he didn't. Looks like that sucker's fucking immortal!
Spatzen piept:
Wow isn't that even the same waterfall from ‘Predator’…
Huhner kräht:
Maybe, baby
Spatzen piept:
…and the same place where Arnold get's outta the water and crawls around in the mud?
Huhner kräht:
Aaaaaah, so he's mortal after all! What the... he’s still screaming?! Yeah, we got it fuckface. Shut your cakehole! Ah, Killer-Fight-Explanation-Talk-Scene.
Spatzen piept:
No, wait! Lemme guess: Now the good one get's hold of the bad one and all those rednecks come along and mistake the good one for the bad one, cause he killed Judge Dredds sidekick!
Huhner kräht:
Now the hunter becomes the hunted! Hahaha, he's screaming like a Death Metal Singer. He killed that Rob Steiger guy?
Spatzen piept:
Heheheh, who the hell is "Rob Steiger"? Sounds like a Pornstar.
Huhner kräht:
Hahaha. Ain't that the sidekick of ‘Judge Dredd’? Ah, now ‘Homer’ saves the one guys life and tells the rednecks to stop shooting.
Spatzen piept:
And Brion is gone… Damn, I was hoping for a quick ending.
Huhner kräht:
Yeah, me too. That movie's just stupid. Wait... Homer knew what? That Brion was there the entire time? Didn't even THEY know it??
Spatzen piept:
Everybody knew it! It was on fuckin TV-Guide all along!
Huhner kräht:
See? Complete rubbish, that he complains about it. Wow, is that the REAL Mike Dudikoff? Oh no, it's just the guy that's been there the whole fucking movie.
Spatzen piept:
What's this sitting on a couch and talking-scene about anyway?
Huhner kräht:
I’ve no idea. It's as dumb as the rest of it.
Spatzen piept:
What kind of a stupid dramatic break is THAT supposed to be?
Huhner kräht:
What is he talking about? What's with the psycho shit now?
Spatzen piept:
And what about all the killing and stabbing and shooting?
Huhner kräht:
That's why the OFDB categorized it as "drama", innit?
Spatzen piept:
Where the hell is Brion James when you need him!
Huhner kräht:
Yeah, the film was much better when he was around, even though his acting sucked.
"You can do whatever you want. You're a good cop."
Spatzen piept:
Straight from the textbook garbage can.
Huhner kräht:
BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH! Now that was trashy fun!!
Spatzen piept:
What now? Brion comes around? To this fuckin’ guys neighbourhood, down in the fuckin’ 'burbs? Someone call Corey Feldman, so they can make a comedy about it!
Huhner kräht:
But still, if the movie had been over with Brions dead, it would have been at least a bit better.
But that shit?
Spatzen piept:
WHAT! THAT'S IT!?!?! THIS IS IT?!?! WTF?!?!
Huhner kräht:
That movie was beyond fucked up!

Huhner kräht his Bottom Line:
One of the movies nobody needs. Not even Brion James was in a good mood. Stupid film. Quiet entertaining in some points, though.

Spatzen piept his Bottom Line:
Disappointing Backwood-Survival-Slasher-Thingee, who’d like to be in the vein of Masterpieces such as ‘Deliverance’ or ‘Southern Comfort’, but doesn’t even comes close to ‘Surviving the Game’. It’s sad to see Brion James wasted in junk like that. Not recommended.